The Gift of Teshuva

The Jewish month of Elul is an amazing time to me.  Teshuva is often translated as repentance.  That doesn't do the word justice.  Teshuva means, To Return.  To return to what?  Hashem has set up a path for us to follow.  He's given us the Torah (and the other nations have the Seven Noahide Laws), and it has all our laws.  It has our moralities.  It literally has an answer for anything that may come up in life, if you know where to look.  In order for us not to be robots, G-d has given us a challenge.  He's given us this guy whose sole job is to make us mess up.  The yatzer hora, or evil inclination, is so tricky and conniving!  He isn't going to tell ME to use my phone on Shabbos when no one is around.  Oh no.  He knows where my weakness are, and that is where he digs in.  When I give in to these temptations, I have veered off the path G-d wants me on.  Teshuva means to return to that path.
IT'S AN AMAZING THING!!!! For me personally, I have people who have hurt me in some way.  I have a friend who did something very thoughtless years ago.  I cut off contact with this person, because I can't see past what happened. Every time I think of her, I think of what happened.  It has colored the way I view her, and not in a flattering way.  There are people who we get into fights with, or we just don't connect with.  It's very hard to view the person totally objectively.  (I am speaking ONLY to myself here.)  Hashem is different.  When I am sorry, and I truly with all my heart regret a mistake I have made, Hashem completely forgives me.  Not only is not like it never happened.  Oh NO!  Hashem takes it one step further.  When I make a mistake, and regret it, and use it as a learning experience on how to come closer to G-d, He actually turns that mistake into a merit!  Imagine that!  An avaira (sin) becomes a mitzvah!!!  THAT BLOWS MY MIND!  How kind is Hashem to give us this wonderful.  Not only does He forgive us, He does it lovingly, with a very open heart.  We can use the power of teshuva to actually travel through time, and take a mistake and make it a merit!
The point of the whole post today is two fold.  First, to bring to light how huge this is.  In my book, this is one of the most incredible gifts Hashem has given us.  Second, we need to try and emulate G-d.  I know for me this is hard.  But one of the things I would like to try to do is work on being more forgiving and seeing past those long gone issues.  I'm trying to view each person as a new person.  Not the one who hurt me.  Oiy.  Now the big question is ... do I write to that person and try to re-establish a relationship? Or do I just move on?  What would you do?  Does being a forgiving mean reopening your heart with the chance it may get broken again?  Is that a lack of trust?  Does that show I haven't moved on yet?  Oiy.  Elul is such a deep and introspective time.  We are running out of days.  Use your last few days wisely!

Why I carry a gun ...

I wrote this article in 2009.  It was printed in the N'shei Newsletter.

Being a child born to parents of the '60s, I grew up in an anti-war, anti-gun environment. Guns were evil. My mom used to tell me, “Guns kill people”. My brother never played cops & robbers, or cowboys & indians for one simple reason – there were no guns in our house. Not even a toy gun. So I guess it was no surprise when I had my kids that guns were absent from their many toys. Imagine my horror then when on his first day of preschool my 2 year old Yossi (a'h) came home and immediately showed me what he had learned. He took three Duplos and stuck them together, two smaller ones in a stack on the bottom of one longer one and voila! He had a toy gun. Over the years, there were various requests. “Can I have a water gun?” “What about a cap gun?” Always the same answer, “No, not in my house.” When Yossi got sick though, I did give in and allow my in-laws to buy him some. (He was living in their house; so technically, it wasn't in my house. I was never comfortable with the idea that he was playing with guns.

Fast forward to this past presidential election. One night I was looking through how each candidate felt about each issue. The question of gun control came up.

“Q: Is the D.C. law prohibiting ownership of handguns consistent with an individual’s right to bear arms?” ¹ Whoa, wait a second! There is a law in Washington, DC, preventing the ownership of a handgun? I was intrigued to find out that there are several places where owning a handgun is illegal, and one of the then candidates felt that this was within the realms of the US Constitution. That didn't seem right me. I starting looking some more, and was even more surprised to find the reasoning behind these laws ... if you prevent homeowners from having guns, you will prevent the criminals from getting them in the first place. (I think their faulty reasoning is that robbers breaking into houses and steal the legal hand guns.) This started me on an quest for information that I never ever imagined I would go on. I started looking into what exactly is our second amendment. What I found shocked me and turned my world upside down. The cities with the strictest gun control laws have the highest crime rates. Think of which cities have bans on owning a handgun – NY city; Chicago; Washington DC. They also have the highest crime rates in the whole country. It seems to me that if someone has no regard for the laws of not robbing, not raping, and not murdering, they are certainly not going to follow the law of not owning a handgun. In fact, the citizens who legally own their guns tend to be the most law abiding citizens, scrupulously following the laws set upon them. With this in mind, I set out to my local shooting range. A friend offered me a practical piece of advice – start small. So I arrived at the range, and for the first time in my life, I stood there trying to decide which gun I wanted to use. I picked a semi-automatic .22. They were extremely helpful, showing me how to load the gun, how to aim, and gave me some pointers. With a cheerful wave and a smile, and a nice “Have Fun!” I headed off to the range. My whole body shook as I loaded 10 bullets into the gun. Even though it was January, I wasn't shivering from the cold. I shook with fear, knowing I head a lethal weapon in my hand. I gave up after 15 rounds, although I was quite proud of myself for actually doing it. (I joked around that my hands were no longer innocent.) I did return the next week, and the next week and even the next one after that. I worked my way up from that little .22 to a 9 mm and then finally settled on a Smith and Wesson .357. I was hooked! I wanted a gun for personal protection. I liked the look and feel, and was able to control it very nicely. Next in my quest was to actually buy it. It seems that the one I picked was back ordered every where. I finally found it from an online auction site. Before anyone thinks that just anyone can buy a gun online, let me point this out ... the gun can only ship to an authorized dealer who runs all the usual background checks. (The gun I ultimately got is a revolver, not a semi-automatic like I had originally started out with.)

My in-laws think it is so funny how I have done such a total 180 on this issue. I have gone being totally against to being pro-gun ownership. I did take my kids to the shooting range. One daughter wanted nothing to do with it. My boys loved it. Our range offers a private safety class for children. It teaches them basic gun safety, and actually takes them onto the range where they get to use both a semi-automatic and a revolver. My gun sits in a special gun safe fully loaded with extra ammo. I sleep a little better knowing I have protection. I also took an extensive 9 hour class on gun safety. After passing this class, I was able to apply for my Concealed Handgun Permit. I am in the process of trying to decide what gun I want to carry on my person. It is a hard decision, because I want to make sure it is small and light, but big enough to have good stopping power. Recently, I was asked, “Why do you feel you need to have a gun?” I don't live in a high crime area. However, a short while ago, there was an incident a few homes away in which a young lady was kidnapped at gun point. The economy is taking a turn for the worse, and unfortunately, it is known that at times like these crime rates tend to go up. I want to know that if chas v'shalom something happens, my family will be protected. Last week, at a local convenience store, a guy walked in and shot the owner two times. He then tried to round up the other patrons, but met with an unexpected surprise. One of them was armed, and his quick action saved many lives. Surveillance footage shows that several times this robber aimed his gun at innocent people. It was an armed citizen who saved the lives of these other shoppers.

Sadly, the places that need armed protection the most are sorely lacking. I teach at our local Chabad Hebrew School. The front door is open to allow the kids to come in and parents to go out. After what happened in Mumbai, I am scared. I want to make sure nothing like that happens chas v'shalom in our Chabad House. However, state law prohibits me from bringing my loaded gun into the class (even if it is strapped to me in a holster or in my pocket book). What good would my gun be locked in my car? April 2, 2009, Nicole & Ben Goeser were eating in a restaurant in Nashville, TN. Although Nicole had a concealed weapons permit, she had to leave her gun locked in her car during dinner. The law on the books at that time prohibited CHP holders from carrying in a restaurant that serves liquor. Ben was gunned down right before Nicole's eyes, while she sat there; helpless to do anything. (Nicole was instrumental in changing this law, but it won't bring back her husband.) Time and time again, if you search carefully, you can find stories that get buried in the news. The truth about guns is this – GUNS SAVE LIVES. Criminals think twice about entering a home if they know there is a chance that they will be looking down the barrel of a gun. Think of all the people the brave guard of the National Holocaust Museum saved by shooting the crazed lunatic. It is too horrifying to think what might have happened had those guards been sitting there with nothing more than a “Please don't shoot us” that day. It is the cities that have taken the guns away from home owners and left them sitting ducks. According to the book, The Bias Against Guns by John R. Lott Jr., the homicide bombers in Eretz Yisroel originally tried shooting people in a busy Yerushalayim area. After their first attempt, they gave up. Too many Israeli citizens are armed. It was that realization that led them to start strapping bombs to themselves. There is a bumper sticker among gun advocates: When seconds count, the police are only minutes away. Interestingly enough, Jews are usually the ones who are the pacifists. It was the Jews in Germany who urged others to give up their guns when the Nazis (yamach shmo) started to un-arm citizens. It is not something that is usually talked about, but given the situation in the world, I don't think it would hurt for all of us to become familiar with how to work a gun, and into owning one. I do realize that if Rivky & Gavi (HY”D) had had guns it wouldn't have helped them. (The pictures I saw of the terrorists were horrifying. They had bullet proof vests and automatic weapons and a lot of clips with extra ammunition.) I do feel against a single gunman though, a homeowner or a Chabad House or a school should be able to fight back.

And my kids now? Do I let them play with guns? No. Because guns are not toys. I don't like the idea of them running around and pretending to shoot someone. I want them to respect and appreciate the gun for what it is, a valuable tool used for the preservation of human life.

1http://www.ontheissues.org/2008/Barack_Obama_Gun_Control.htm

Global cooling, I mean warming, I mean climate change

ARGH!  I can't take this anymore!!  I am so sick and tired of hearing all these liberals crying that we are destroying the Earth.  They are the world's biggest hypocrites about this whole issue.

Take for instance, all these "important people" who tell us we have to make changes.  Obummer, Pelosi, Al Gore, they all live like kings and do whatever they want. They trot all over the world, leaving behind "huge carbon emissions".  Obama pumps up the heat the White House in the winter, and I'm sure it's very cool in the summer.  When a person believes something, truly believes it, they follow it.  I believe pesticides and GMOs are dangerous to my body.  I don't eat them.  I don't feed them to my family.  I don't even feed them to my friends!  I wouldn't give them to animals.  I view them as poison.  If all these alarmist believed what they were preaching, they would lead by example. Instead, they tell US what we have to do, while they are too important to do it!  

If this was a real thing, they would not be behaving the way they do.  (case in point-- the polar ice caps are not melting; science has proven it.  google it.  Tell a lie often enough, people will start to believe it.)

See, when I was a kid in the '70s, I remember hearing the next ice age was coming. We were warned not to use aerosols.  No hair spray or spray deodorant if we wanted to prevent the next ice age.  Oops, then it turned out in the late 80s-early 90s that the earth was warming.  So now it was called Global Warming.  The polar ice caps were supposed to be gone by 2011.  When that year came and went, they pushed it back to 2035.  Too bad for them that the 2000s brought a decade with lower temperatures than the 80s-90s.  Basically ,the Earth cycles.  It makes sense to me. Everything in life cycles, if you think about it.  Warmer, cooler, warmer cooler.  If someone wants to pay higher electric bills, by all means, go ahead.  Don't tell me I have to.  BTW, I don't recycle, because that is another hoax.  All those lovely coke bottles that you lovingly drop into the recycle bin are shipped to China on a huge freight ship so that cheap labor can separate the 3 forms of plastic.  (the bottle, ring, and label are all different types; they can not be ground up together.)  These workers get paid bubkas!  Then, some company makes them into something else, which is again shipped back to the US on a huge freight ship, leaving a ginormous carbon foot print behind. 

If they really believed this, they wouldn't do it. 

Rosh chodesh Elul

I'm probably the last person in the world who should be writing this, but since when has that ever stopped me from doing anything?
Tonight is the second say of Rosh chodesh, alef Elul, (A quick shout out ... Happy anniversary to Shauly and Zahava!) A time for introspection. My good friend Zeldy a'h used to tell me about how when she was younger, you could feel when Elul had arrived. Everything and everyone just knew it. This has always intrigued me, and I never had a chance to find out exactly what she meant. Or I forgot. 😢
One of my friends on My Fitness Pal had a great status about us using this month to make better choices for ourselves, both physically and spiritually. Ones that may not give us instant gratification, but in the long run, will be better for us.
Whoa! That's a really, really heavy thought! I think actually, it's brilliant. The hardest part is figuring out how to implement this!!!
For me, I'm impulsive. I have a big, fat mouth that often works faster than ny brain. Which tends to get me into trouble. A lot. Not cool, I know. At least I'm humble enough to know when I need to apologize. Most of the time I manage to actually do it, although, not always.
So here it is, Rosh Chodesh Elul, and yes Zeldy, I feel it. This year, everything feels different already. I've got a lot of work cut out for me, and I have 40 days to do it.
Join me on the journey? Can't change the world until we change ourselves.

Hashem pays for Shabbos and Yom Tov

We've all heard it before ... what you spend on Shabbos and Yom Tiff does not count in your yearly income.

I once read a story in Meoras Hashabbos that a certain rabbi (forgive me; his name slipped my mind) used to take his kids to the store on Eruv Shabbos, and let them pick out whatever candies and treats they wanted.  He would throw up his hands and tell them, "Take whatever you want kids!  It's all free!"

Over the years, I have tried very hard to remember to say, "l'kavod shabbos kodesh" when I go grocery shopping for shabbos food.  This week is a special shabbos.  It's both Shabbos AND Rosh Chodesh Elul.  I really wanted to do something special for this shabbos, and decided to get some flowers.  Martins has lovely arrangements for a very reasonable price.  When I got there, there were several arrangements I saw, and had a real hard time choosing.  Finally, after a lot of deliberations, I picked these --

As I went to put them in the cart, a thought struck me.  I bought flowers a few weeks ago for Shabbos Chazon.  (I had figured it was a hard shabbos leading right into Tisha B'Av, so that flowers would brighten it up.)  I was thinking my husband may not be too happy with the purchase.  (He's very practical; I'm the impulsive spend-thrift.)  Then I remember that from time to time we get rebate checks for little, odd amounts.  I know that what you get for shabbos, doesn't really come from our account. So I figured, I'll take the flowers and Hashem will send us some checks to pay for them.

Fast forward several hours... My husband comes home work.  (He didn't go into the dining room.)  He comes into the kitchen with the mail in his hand.  Guess what he was holding?  Yup!  A rebate check.  I screamed, "I bet it's for $16.47!!!"  Then I told him the whole story of the flowers.  Well, he opens it, and ... it was only for $11 something.  BUT ... he had another rebate check in his hand as well.  YUP!!!  It was for $5 something, bringing the total to $17.46!!!  I was jumping up and down.  Hashem openly revealed what I have always believed.

And as that rabbi in Yerushalayim used to say, Buy whatever you want for Shabbos, because you aren't paying for it.  Hakodesh Baruch Hu is!

Wishing every a wonderful, wonderful Shabbos, and may we celebrate it together with Moshiach and the Third Bais Hamikdash!

Is it ever right to steal & Illegals

When I still have Facebook, I asked a question.
Suppose a guy is caught stealing bread, milk, and eggs.  Is that OK?  He was doing it to feed his family.
A lot of people then argued with me.  This is a hard one.  He is stealing to feed his family.  I asked if it makes a difference if he steals from Wal-Mart, or a small Mom & Pop store.  Never really got a real answer on that.
Here is the thing.  STEALING IS WRONG.  It is wrong, wrong, wrong.  It is AGAINST the law.  Maybe a person has a good reason for steal, but we have laws in our society. The minute we start looking the other way for certain things, we have lost our morals.  We have lost our community. We have anarchy.
I know it comes across as cold and heartless, but what difference does it make if someone steals a chicken to feed the family, or a cell phone?  They need the chicken; they stole the cell phone because they felt they needed it.
As a society, we have totally lost our way.  If a family hurting so badly they need to steal, then as a society, we have failed them. And this is the heart of the problem. WE ARE A COMMUNITY.  Each area, whether it is a small Jewish "ghetto" (not said in a bad; my friends get the reference), or a large church ... whatever. We are joined by our values and morals.  If each community were to take care of its own, then we wouldn't have this problem at all.  The problem is, that the Democrats came in 40-50 years ago, and told the black communities that they don't need families.  Have babies with lots of different fathers, and we will give you housing, food, we will take care of you. So that is what happened.  Church attendance is down.  In the areas where church attendance is still up, they are not as crime ridden as the areas where there is no church.  The liberal progressives have progressed so far that they took G-d totally out of their lives.  When you live a life devoid of G-d, then life has no value.  How do you think that someone could actually kill another human being?  They are not viewing that individual as a person!  The humanity is getting lost.
What does this have to do with illegals?  So many people in this country are willing to look the other way for a lot of reasons.  Some say they are trying to make a better life for themselves.  Some say that they do the jobs Americans don't want to do.  Whatever the reason, the second they cross the border into America, they have already committed a crime.  Does it matter why?  No.  Law is law is law.  What part of ILLEGAL do people not get?  Why is this so difficult to comprehend.

Think about this the next time you are walking to your car.  How would you feel if someone stole your car in order to get to work every day?

Liz Lovely

Liz Lovely.  Sounds so sweet, right?  Well, IT IS!

A few months ago I discovered these super delish cookies at Ellwood Thompson's.  These cookies are absolutely INCREDIBLE.  I kid you not. They are kosher (chof-k pareve), non-GMO, gluten free (I personally don't care; the first two are what matter to me), and come in a ton of yummy flavors.  My absolute favorite is the triple chocolate mint cookie.

Here's what happened ... I was going on vacation to New York and New Jersey for a while, but I didn't have time to pick some up before I left.  No biggie; I figured I would get them on the road.  First day of the trip, and I gobbled up my last remaining triple chocolate mint cookie.  Two days later, when I showed up in Long Island, I googled where to get them.  BROOKLYN?  ARE YOU KIDDING ME?  Do you have any idea how long it takes to get from Long Island to Brooklyn?  Fine!  I'll make do without for a few more days.  However, by the time I got to Brooklyn, I literally didn't have a minute to pop into Whole Foods (right in Park Slope! Who knew?).  So I figured I would get them when I went to Goldie in NJ.  Murphy's Law, right?  I get to NJ, and the closest store is 20-30 mins away.  This time I was smart, and called.  Well, sadly, they only had two of the three flavors and they don't stock the triple chocolate mint cookie.

Next up was our stop in Silver Springs.  Once again, the cookie gods were against me.  I could not for the life of me locate the Whole Foods.  Nor did I feel like attempting to find the stores that did stock the cookies.  (I made do with the Enjoy Life cookies, which, while they are good, they do not hold a candle to these cookies.)

Finally, arrive home, and you guessed it ... I was too tired to go out to get some.  Hubby offered to satisfy my craving and go for me, but he was also tired, and I didn't want to make him go out for a cookie.  (what was I thinking???)

Today, after almost 3 weeks of triple chocolate mint withdrawal, I FINALLY GOT MY COOKIE!  The cookies were frozen, but I didn't care.  I ate it anyway!  Yes, greedy piggie that I am at a whole cookie, which is actually two servings. They are that good.
Did I whet your appetite for these yet?  I don't work for Liz Lovely.  I am just one incredibly happy customer who believes in sharing her great finds with her friends.  BTW, if you happen to have a "health food store" in Long Island, Brooklyn, or Lakewood, I was the nut job who hit every store telling them to get their hands on these cookies!
http://lizlovely.com/

Runner up on flavors --- snickerdoodles.  I also like the cowboy cookies.  I picked up a cowgirl cookie, as well as the Chocolate Moose Dragon.  So when you hear me complaining that nothing fits, you'll know why!