So CLOSE, and yet SO FAR!

I've been struggling.  Emotionally, this has been a huge, huge roller-coaster of feelings, from excitement to immense, profound grief, to happiness and heartbreak.

I am talking about the Sefer Campaign. Right now I am at $44,000 in pledges and donations.  Yes, it is amazing. People can't believe how fast I was able to raise that much money.  I just respond with, "People loved Yossi a'h, and that is why they are willing to give". And yes, with the goal almost in sight, the donations have completely stopped.  I've spoken to people, and they say, "Yes, I'll give", and then for whatever reason, they don't manage to follow through.

The last few weeks have been excruciating for me.  I can say that almost every single day, without fail, I've been in tears, begging Hashem to see this through. I did a segulah for Rabbi Menacham Mendel of Riminov, and completed it the first time.  (He promised to help anyone who lights a candle for him 40 nights in a row.)  In general, I am not a patient person. The thought of waiting two years to actually see this totally to fruition is very painful for such an impatient person. (I want things, and I don't even want them yesterday, I want them last week, or last year!)

Some people are scared to commit to a monthly donation. That is fine. Please just give me a one time donation. Just give, PLEASE!

I've spoken about tzedakah many, many times on my blog.  One of the good things that came out of this whole situation is that I feel a special closeness with Hashem. I literally have found that I have a personal relationship with Him.  I feel like I can talk to Him like a child talking to their Father, asking and telling what I need.  Years ago, I used to be scared to give too much tzedakah.  I like to hang little inspirational quotes around my house ... This is one of them that has been on the wall for years now:

I can say with all my heart and soul, that this is 100% true. So many times I have seen in my life where I pledged money I didn't have.  Lo and behold! The money magically appears in my life. A few years ago I pledged $500 for Ushi to Bike 4 Chai. Money I didn't have, but I knew would get. That very day I found a jar with enough gold in it to cover my pledge.  I pledged a the next year for Shauly, and again, I found ONE item that was more than DOUBLE my pledge.  Hashem pays His debts, without fail every single time.

Rabbi Gordon z'l in the Tanya said, that when times are tight, that is DAVKA the time to give tzedakah. It seems counter intuitive to give MORE when you have less.  And yet, that is exactly what the Alter Rebbe advises us.  The reason is that tzedakah does not come for your yearly allotment of earrings. So if you give away some, Hashem has to repay you. And like I said, Hashem ALWAYS, ALWAYS, ALWAYS repays His bills right away.

If you haven't made a donation yet, please take one minute and do it.  It will help to give me menuchas hanefesh, comfort to my soul. Please help me complete this campaign NOW and may we all merit to see Yossi WITH Moshiach in Yerushalayim.

http://inmemoryofyossi.com/sefertorah

There are still many donation opportunities available.  No donation is too small or too big.  Feel free to share this on social media. I would love to see the total by Yossi's 29th birthday on Chof Zayin Nissan, which this year falls on April 23rd.

Wishing you all a kosher and freilichen pesach! ~ Leah