Friday, April 5, 2019

Misconceptions and G-d Laughing

There is a famous Yiddish proverb

A MENSCH TRACHT UN GOTT LACHT

Meaning, Man plans and G-d laughs.  Yup. I always say, Hashem has a wicked sense of humor. (I am NOT saying it in an irreverent way. I mean it literally, G-d has a true sense of humor by some of the things He does, IMNSHO (in my NOT SO humble opinion).

At the Hachnasas Sefer Torah, I got to do something extremely meaningful. Now, before I say what I did, I want to talk about misconceptions. There are so many misconceptions about Orthodox Judaism. People who don't truly understand the laws tend to explain in ways that make sense to them, even if they are incorrect. For some reason, people have a misconception about women within Judaism. They think we are second class citizens for a number of reasons.  A woman's role is more of in the background, shaping and prodding, rather than in the trailblazing the way. That's not to say a woman CAN'T be in the forefront. Look at Sarah Schenirer, the founder of the Bais Yaakov movement.  She brought education to Jewish girls, who became the mothers of the next generation, ensuring the continuation of our faith. The truth is, as I learned in the JLI (Jewish Learning Institute) class once, Judaism puts the woman on a pedestal.  It's so true if you at the deeper level of the laws and rules. We are far from second class citizens. We are the mothers who literally are ensuring that Judaism survives. It's a huge role to play. 

Now, there are some things within Judaism that women traditionally do not do. For instance, a man has to pray three times a day. A woman is not obligated in this. (It is nice for her to pray, but it's not an obligation.)  A woman does not wear tzitzis, a 4 cornered garment. Nor do we wear a yarmulka. One of the explanations is that a intrinsically close to G-d. A man needs these external reminders, where a woman has internal reminders. We are so close to G-d because He granted us the ability to bring life in to this world. Part of the morning prayers is wearing tefillin. (No, I'm not gonna translate that cuz the translation is so stupid. Who even knows what that word means????)  As I said before, a woman CAN pray 3 times a day if she wants to. She doesn't have to because the home comes first. Taking care of kids is time consuming. They come first. Some people think women aren't allowed to wear tefillin. It's up for debate yes or no, but Rashi, the greatest commentator on the Torah had daughters that were said to have worn tefillin. 

Traditionally, women do not hold a sefer Torah.  There is no reason to because we aren't there every morning or afternoon. Is a woman forbidden from holding a Torah? That's an interesting question, with lots of opinions. After speaking with a Rav about it, I was told that Yes, I can hold it. I really, really wanted to be the first one to hold the completed Torah.  I worked so hard on it. As one Rabbi said to me, Not only am I allowed to hold it; I SHOULD hold it first. That it would proper and fitting. After speaking with several other women who held the Sefer Torah after it was completed, they all said the same thing. It was very personal and they cried when they held it. I was worried about that. I didn't want to burst into tears in front of everyone. So when the Torah was completed, we went into a side room where I dressed the Torah.  I put the gartel (belt) and mantel (coat) on it. The, Adam picked it up and handed it to me. It was the most surreal moment of the day. This was a second in time I had dreamed of for so many years. I held the Torah, and when I was done, I sent it back into the other room so that it could have the crown placed on top.  That is when I lost it. I burst into tears. Thankfully, my dear bereaved friends, Shoshana and Zissy were with me. They closed the door and held me tight and let me express what I needed to. 

Now why is G-d laughing at me??? Cuz I wanted to keep this private. This was so intimate and personal. Everyone thinks I share every thing about my life and that is so far from the truth. Any hoo ... the most personal moment got shared in a very public forum. The way it was done is fine. It was just that I never communicated to the person that those pictures were off limits for others to see. 

So now that it is done, it's fine. It's G-d's Will, and I accept it. 

Have a great Shabbos!





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