That time again ... Koach Tammuz

Chof Ches Tammuaz

The 28th day of the Hebrew month of Tammuz begins now. Michoel came out of bed to wish me Happy Birthday, as I was busy preparing for my kids / grand-kids visit tomorrow.  Wow, how did the evening slip by and it suddenly became this holy, awesome day? For a few weeks now, I've been dreading it, but not for the usual reasons.  I always joke around that having a birthday sure does beat the alternative. but it is also a very solemn day of introspection.
Birthdays are a time of celebration, yes. As it is well known, a birthday is proof that I really do matter in the world. I am here because Hashem wants me here, and I matter to Him. He created me with a purpose and a reason, which is what is leading me to feel a little despondent.  Am I living up to my goals and potential? Am I headed in the right direction? Am I nearing the "end of the line" so to say???
For 2 1/2 years, I worked tirelessly on the Sefer Torah project. I can't begin to think how many hours went into it. Sometimes it feels like a dream, the kind where you wake up and wonder if it was real or not. It's sorta like a fantasy feeling, but then I watch the videos or look at the pictures and I am reminded how real it was.  Where in the world did I get the strength to pull that off??? How did I do that?
A birthday is a time to look back at the previous year to see what I did right (to continue on that path) and what I did wrong (so I can make corrections).  In some ways, it's like a mini Rosh Hoshana, cuz of the reflections and contemplation. That is what is bothering me. Hashem has blessed me with so much. Did I use all the brachos He gave me for the good? Was I worthy of what He gave me? I'm not so sure. If I was able to pull off this super feat of donating a Sefer Torah, what else am I capable of, but didn't do because of my laziness.  Ya, I know ... I'm not supposed to talk lashon hora about myself .... but I do enjoy vegetating on the couch a lot more than I should. I've been trying for weeks to come up with a new birthday hachlata (resolution) for me to take upon myself.  As of right now, I still don't have one. So on one hand, I am thrilled to have this opportunity to celebrate another birthday, but on the other hand, it comes with a huge responsibility.


Time is not linear, it is more circular. When a holiday or event happens, we relive the strength of that day. Like on Pesach, Hashem gives us the strength to break through our personal boundaries. The same idea happens on our birthday. The same koach that Hashem endowed us with at our birth is shining brightly tonight for me. It's our tradition to give a "birthday bracha", a gift to all my friends and loved ones. So here is my bracha to YOU --

Hashem should bless every single one of us to have the ultimate joy of seeing the coming of Moshiach mamash RIGHT NOW!  We should dance and bring karbanos to the Third Bais Hamikdash and be reunited with our loved ones immediately.
Hashem should give everyone good health; curing those who have ailments whether they be physical or emotional. He should give everyone loads of parnasa, so much so that it is overflowing and it should come so easily. He should give everyone what it is the feel they need, a shidduch, a child, parnasa, menuchas hanefesh, brachos in what ever area they feel a lacking. May you all experience an outpouring of His Love in a revealed way, with nachas from your kids and grandkids. But again, most of all ... may we all join together hand in hand and dance with the geulah!