Zayin Teves

Two years ago, one of my friends told me that Zayin Teves is a special day.  (I got this today, similar to what I got then, which explains it fully.)

B"H CHAP ARAIN! ZAYIN TEVES ~ GOLDEN OPPORTUNITY! 

By: Rabbi Y. Winner, Melbourne, Australia 

I'm sure you know that in the original Hay Teves story (1987), one of the Sichos the Rebbe spoke was Oyr Li'zayin, and He said that tomorrow - (which was Zayin Teves) - everyone should send a Tzetel to the Aibeshter Himself - through נשיא דורנו, AND you SHOULD WRITE WHATEVER you WANT AND מ'זאל זיך ניט שעמען [You shouldn't feel any shame...; i.e. basically, just go for it, and ask away...], הימים האלו נזכרים ונעשים So, my good friend, it may be a good time to כאפ אריין and take advantage.. 

Here is the story as recorded in Rabbi Y.N. Vogel's diary from that time:.. "On Wednesday 6th Teves, the Rebbe went to the Ohel. After the Ohel, when the Rebbe came out of his room to Daven Mincha, the Rebbe asked Rabbi Groner where is Mincha (upstairs or downstairs)? And when the Rebbe was told Mincha would be upstairs, the Rebbe made a sign with his hand as if to say: what a pity. After Mincha and Maariv the Rebbe suddenly started saying a Sicha. It was such a surprise, that there was no microphone available. B”H one of the Bochrim had a small micro-cassette recorder on him, so only the first few words were lost. Rabbi Groner was standing in the hall outside, when someone told him the Rebbe is speaking inside, and as soon as R’ Yonasan Hackner arrived with a microphone, he opened the door and put the microphone on the table, and then the Rebbe’s voice was heard all over 770 (and eventually the world). The Rebbe continued yesterdays Sicha about “Vatechi ruach Yaakov avihem”, and then the Rebbe added, that all those that did not send in Tzedaka the day before on Hey Teves, should do so before he goes to the Ohel tomorrow (Thursday 7th Teves). And since it is an Eis Rotzon, surely everyone will want to send in Tzedokoh and a Pan to the Frierdike Rebbe. There will surely be a lot of people giving Panim and Tzedokoh, so they should separate them and have separate envelopes for the Panim and the Tzedokoh. Everyone can write whatever they want in their Pan, because – said the Rebbe – I will not read them, so they are writing directly to the Aibershter, through the Frierdike Rebbe. Those places that will not be able to send their Panim in time, should go to a Beis Hachayim where they live, because all Beis Hachayim are connected through the tunnels (of Techiyas Hameisim).. Everyone now understood that these days were a moiradike Eis Rotzon, and everyone rushed to send in Panim before the Rebbe would go to the Ohel. All fax machines in 770 ran out of paper in the middle of the night, and some of them refilled paper a few times. A bank of telephones (usually used for the televised Farbrengens), was made available, and the phones were ringing off the hooks the whole Thursday. (I went into that room not long before the Rebbe got back from the Ohel, at about 7:00 pm, and I pick up a phone, and I hear this Israeli lady from Miami, she says: Shamaati Shehakol Patuach, in other words, you can ask for whatever you want…I just asked her for the names she wanted to mention for a Brocho, as we were instructed to do). Thursday 7th Teves after Shacharis, a lot of big paper shopping bags were placed in the upstairs Shul, some for Panim, and some for Tzedokoh. Before the Rebbe went to the Ohel, his car was filled with many bags of Panim. The back seat and floor were full of the bags..." As far as I recall, all day long whilst the Rebbe was at the Ohel, calls were coming from all around the world to 770 - also faxes, with requests to deliver their panim to the ohel, and that during that day additional trips were made to the ohel through mazkires, with panim-filled cars.. At the time my mashpia Reb Yoel was shtureming and farbrenging that this is one of the greatest accomplishments of hay teves: "אז דער גאנצער וועלט ווייס אז דאס'ע דער אדרעס..770" (that the whole world recognizes that 770 is THE address; if a Yid is in a time of need - G-d forbid - "who you're gonna call"? Which Tzadik will you turn to for a Brocho? The Rebbe!) 

So, I made three requests of Hashem.  (One I really do not remember, so I have no idea if it came into fruition or not.)  First, I asked for easy Ebay sales. Second, I don't remember. Third, I asked to go to Israel.
Literally a few days later, some woman sends me a private message. She wanted to buy a bunch of things.  In 15 mins I sold 3 expensive items and was thrilled with both how fast it went and how easy it was. OH wow! My first request! (I was going to say "wish", but then this sounds like some fairy godmother granting me wishes, and it isn't that at all.)  The main reason I don't remember my second request is because a week later, I got a registered letter from my father. In it, there was a check.  Imagine my shock when I saw it was my inheritance from my grandfather.  Totally and completely unexpected.  I immediately started jumping around and singing, "I'm going to Israel! I'm going to Israel!" I put the money away, and when an awesome price on a ticket came up, I grabbed it.  (My son had called me, "Mommy, Delta has super cheap tickets.  You won't see prices this low; grab it." I ran to my husband, "You want to go with me?" He told me no thank you. I asked, "Can I go for three weeks?" Yup, he said.  I checked to make sure I wasn't there for Yossi's yartzeit, and click, click, click, I was going to Israel. It was literally a dream come true.  The money gave me the freedom to really tour and see the country the way I had hoped to.  You can see my whole trip.  The first day is here: http://jewwithanattitude.blogspot.com/2016/01/dreams-do-come-true.html

So why am I telling you this? CUZ TONIGHT & TOMORROW IS ZAYIN TEVES! Tap into the power of the day. Hashem literally WANTS us to make requests, b'gashimious and b'ruchnious (materially and spiritually).  You can send your P"N to the Rebbe via Email or Fax one here or just fill out this form here: Send-A-Letter-Online

Please remember to ask for Moshiach!* Hashem should fulfill every request with revealed goodness and we should all dance together in Yerushalayim speedily!

*I'm thinking now that this was my 2nd request. Maybe I should have made that my number one request!

Gun EDUCATION not control

Not only is this story tragic, it is totally and completely senseless.
http://www.arkansasonline.com/news/2016/dec/22/police-9-year-old-boy-dies-after-accidentally-shoo/

Take a minute for that to sink in. I don't think that the problem is that these children were able to get to the handgun. The problem is that the parents didn't take the time to teach the kids basic gun safety.  The NRA has a program geared just towards kids, which can be found here:
https://eddieeagle.nra.org/

Like most (all?) gun owners, I do NOT want gun control. I do NOT want to be told where to store my gun and ammo, or how to store it either.  I don't believe we need a list like the "no fly" list to keep people from getting guns.  We have so many laws on our books that our government doesn't even bother to enforce.  Rather than trying to keep penalizing legal gun owners, let's work rather on EDUCATING people.  Ideally, what I would love to see, is a short, basic safety class before a purchase.  Suppose that each person who legally bought a gun HAD to have the basics down pat before they could walk out the store with the gun?  Basics like, do NOT assume the gun is empty until you PROVE it is?  So many tragic stories of people who thought their gun was unloaded (and unchambered) when tragically it wasn't.  Basics like, Never point a gun at a person (or your own head!). Imagine if a person purchasing a gun with kids had to know the four NRA rules by heart before they got their gun?

I really don't think that the answer is more gun control.  I don't think that those who call it "gun sense" get it either.  Gun sense is knowing HOW to handle your gun.  It's knowing HOW to use it well and taking good care of it.  Gun sense is practicing safe ways of passing a gun to another person, or knowing how to clean it without getting yourself killed.  Good gun sense is teaching your children that guns are NOT a neat toy, and that they are a weapon that needs to be treated with proper respect. Children are curious. They explore. My kids all know that if they want to see my gun, they only have to ask.  They are allowed to handle it ONLY when I am around to ensure that it is properly unloaded and they are supervised.  This settles their curiosity and I am confident that they will not want to look at it when I am not around. (So confident in fact, because my youngest has no interest in it at all, due to the fact we did this years ago.)  I also think that all kids should be taken to a shooting range.  A child who knows how to handle a gun will not be curious! They see the power it possesses, and has no desire to "play" with it.

Without any further ado, here are what I consider to be the basic gun rules everyone needs to know:

1- Never, ever, ever point the gun at a person unless you intend to shoot them. Not as a joke, not as playing, not with the chamber open, never, ever, ever!

2- Keep your finger OFF the trigger unless you are planning on a bullet coming out.  If you are posing for a picture, your finger should be OFF the trigger. Again, even if you know it's empty, don't put your finger there unless you are ready to fire the gun for real.

3- Always point it in a safe direction. At the range, this means down range.  In the house, if you are dry firing, see rule #1.

4- Never hand the gun to someone else until you can prove it is safe to. This means, with no bullets in it.  I hand my revolver over with the chamber open.  This allows the other person to ascertain for themselves that it is safe to receive it.  Semi-automatics are trickier.  You can take the magazine out, and there can still be a bullet in the chamber.  They should only be handed over to someone else when the slide is locked open to show no bullet in there.

5- (This doesn't apply to me, but it bears being said.)  Never shoot when you are drunk, high, on pain meds, etc. If you don't have a clear head, you shouldn't be holding a gun in your hand.

6- Make sure anyone you show your gun to or take to the range understands all these safety rules, and any others you personally have.

7- If you are carrying concealed, make sure you practice with the gun unloaded drawing.  I recently discovered that when I point my gun towards my right for easier access, the sight snags on the band as it comes up.  If I hadn't had practiced, I wouldn't have realized it.  It should become second nature to you.

8- Always wear protective gear while shooting.  I wear both ear plugs AND head phones, and it still seems loud to me.

The kids rules are easy.

1- STOP

2- DON'T TOUCH!

3- GET AWAY from the gun; get out the room or wherever it is you found it.

4- FIND an adult to safely handle the gun.

I would like to think that if all gun owners would take their gun ownership as a huge responsibility, we wouldn't hear these tragic stories. What makes them even more tragic, is that they don't have to happen with a little education and training.

So happy shooting, and keep it safe!

Listening to the Whispers

Well now.  I am in a totally different frame than I was in the previous post.  Shortly after I wrote it, I got a phone call from the principal of my daughter's school.  Any parent knows, that is not good!  Well, my daughter Sheindy had hurt herself, and someone needed to pick her up.  My husband brought her home.  She was crying and crying.  Too much.  I thought it was a really bad sprain or a hairline fracture.  Off to Ortho On Call.  (I end up giving them business every year it seems.)  End of the story is, it is a very bad sprain.  She got her foot wrapped and crutches, and we come home.  And then it hits me. Every drop of grief was literally wiped out of me.  All I could feel was relief that it wasn't broken.  You know I think into things.  Why? Why did she hurt herself right then?  To me, it seems clear ... Hashem is whispering to me, "Don't complain".  Just wanted to update that I am feeling better.

Walking through Fire

I've been grappling with my grief a lot lately.  I'm trying to understand and work through it.  I do believe that part of this is because I am trying really hard to stop filling the void, since it can't be filled. I've been searching for answers, and I am not sure they are out there.

Grieving is like treading water in the deep end. You're just trying every day to keep your head afloat. But after a while you get tired of treading water. You know though that if you stop, you will sink. In this case, you sink into a deep, dark abyss of pain. A pain so deep and so painful that it can literally destroy you.
If you wanna get out of the water, you have to do what I call, "walk through the fire". You have to go through the grief (I'm not sure exactly what that means, cuz i don't want to go there). I never wanted to walk through the fire, because it's too painful to go there. I'm very good at stuffing the grief down. I bury it inside, and only allow it to surface a few times a year, like the yartzeit or birthday.  The only problem with that is there are triggers which can overwhelm at any moment.  There is no safe place to hide from them, and you never know when they will hit.  One day a song is fine, another day that song triggers the grief, and then yet another day the song is fine again. Grief is such an unexpected (and unwelcome) visitor.

The other downside to burying your grief is that I'm left empty.  The void is painful. It's like how some people can't stand to be a room when no one is talking, and they try to fill the void with talking, ykwim?  I look to fill that emptiness.  Those ways have not been the best.  Y'all know I love retail therapy.  (I've been a shopaholic forever, so this is not something new.)  Shopping can trigger that dopamine effect.  When you get something, you get a huge rush and it makes you happy.  Or at least, it is a temporary high.  It's a very dangerous cycle, because like an addict, you end up needing more and more to achieve the same high as before.

And now I am overwhelmed.  Hoarders is going to show up at my door one of these days, and the hole is still there in my heart.  I realize that I am spirally downward, and decided to confront it head on. I found a therapist that I really like.  However, she told me last week and today, "Why can't you just leave the void there?"  I can't do it.  I don't know HOW to.  She told me that I have to figure that out for myself.  And it SUCKS!  Therapy is stripping away the cover I've thrown on my grief, and it hurts. It hurts a lot. I'm not 100% sure i want to finish it, but I also want to stop destroying myself. I don't know how to do it. I don't know how let that void settle in me without filling it with SOMETHING, ANYTHING.  I don't know how to be sad and be happy at the same time.  I am so so so so tired of being bereaved.  I am so tired of treading water, and when I try to catch my breath, I start to sink.

And right now I am sinking hard and fast ...

Glasses. We all wear them.

Yeah, I know. I sound crazy when I say we all wear glasses. But we do. These are the glasses we put on based on the experiences we've gone through in our lives.
Like when a bunch of women sit around, and we all start talking about childbirth.  Those who have had children can relate, even if our experiences were different.  Everyone "sees" the same thing, in essence.  But the one woman sitting in the group who never had a child, she is "blind", or wearing really dark black sunglasses. She can't see what the rest are saying, because she's never had the experience.

Sometimes, we put these glasses on ourselves, like the black glasses that don't allow any light through.  We want to bury our head, and pretend everything is all right and it isn't happening.  Or they are the dark sinister glasses that some people wear that make them see everything in a negative light.  They see everything as the-world-is-out-to-get-me type view.  Sadly, these dark glasses hide the truly wonderful things in their lives, and they don't notice what they are missing.

And on the opposite side, there are the people who wear those awesome bright glasses that makes them see everything in a positive light.  They are shiny happy people whose glasses give off big reflections.  Their glasses I believe gives them a lot of clarity, which is why they are almost able to "see through walls".  We can also put on the rose colored ones.  We wear these when we look back at certain events in our life, and we remember them differently than they actually happened. <LOL>

(I'm not saying that I'm this way; I just think it's cool that I caught a picture of myself in my glasses!  Great way to illustrate my point, no?)  There are the mirrored glasses which reflect back.  The person wearing these can only see themselves, and they lose sight of the bigger picture.  I wouldn't exactly say they are selfish.  It's more like they missing out on some great moments by focusing inwardly rather than outwardly.

Me.  I love my sunglasses.  Really. I do. I love wearing them.  I think I look cool, and I think I look glamorous.  But I also don't want people to see my eyes.  Why you wanna know? Because eyes are the windows to a person's soul.  I love looking put together, sharp, when I go out.  I think a smile enhances anything you are wearing.  So I do try to wear a smile all the time, even when I am not smiling on the inside.  But my eyes ... they tell a different story.  I feel that there is a sadness in them that sometimes slips out.  Not all the time.  I don't know. I am just musing here.  I wish I could wear those rose colored glasses that give people the benefit of the doubt.  I have such an active imagination, and it's sooo freakishly easy for me to come up with a whole crazy story why they are doing this or that.  I should instead focus on dan l'chaf zchus, giving them the benefit.  How many times have I messed things up because I left these glasses in the case, instead of putting them on.

I leave this post on a happy note. I like this picture of me with my clear glasses on.  Blowing you kisses and wishing you all to only see sunshine and happiness with bright clear glasses on.

#SpeakFreely again

Y'all may remember that a liberal who accused me of not being tolerant reported me on Facebook (because in her own words, she couldn't tolerate my views), and my account got locked.  (My username was InmemoryofYossi, and they wanted my real name.  NO, I'm not giving my real name, which is why they were able to lock it.)  What really gets me is that liberals don't even see their own hypocrisy.  Like two family members who were fast friends for years and years.  Now the liberal one who voted for Clinton isn't speaking to the one who voted for Trump. Seriously? Is this jr high school here?

That brings me to Twitter. Y'all know that I have a very big mouth and I am not afraid to use it. (Yes, sometimes, ok, a lot of times, the mouth speaks faster than the brain, but I guess that would be a different post.)  So I really needed to be able to get my thoughts out somewhere.  I decided to give Twitter a try.  It was fun, and I tried very hard not to get addicted to it.  (I have an addictive personality, in case you didn't figure that one out yet either.)  I was following a lot of cool conservatives, when sudden Milo, a guy I was following, was BANNED.  I don't have to go into the whole story; that's what Google is for.  I just felt it was so wrong, considering all the facts.  Then slowly, more and more people were getting their accounts suspended.  Simply for being a conservative.  I do understand that Twitter doesn't have to follow the first amendment, but it got to be very frustrating.  (BTW, I do believe that Twitter is holding back Trumps tweets. I no longer get any notifications when he tweets something.  Before the election, I did.)

Enter Gab, stage Right (pun intended).  It's a platform that is similar to Twitter.  There are several differences.  The key one being, NO CENSORSHIP.  Yup. That's correct.  No PC garbage, just say it. It does work both ways.  I have found anti-Semitic posts, but they weren't hate posts saying "Kill all the Jews" (which Facebook allows).  It is a platform where you can speak your mind and no one is going to suspend your account, or ban you.  So if you want to move more to the Right, then I suggest you check out https://gab.ai/home

And if you want to find me, three guesses as to what my username is, and the first two don't count. Yup, you got it.  https://gab.ai/InmemoryofYossi

I know this is a short post. Maybe it's better that way?  Anyhoo. If you come to Gab, please look me up, and I follow back.

#SpeakFreely again, and #AdiosTwitter !!!!

Wind, Rain, Fallen Trees & Veal? A stroll down memory lane & a recipe to share

From the NBC12 Weather blog:

#1 Hurricane Isabel 2003

Producing wind gusts of 73 mph in Richmond, the hurricane blew down thousands of trees across the area, knocking out power to over 2 million households. Its combination of strong winds and heavy rain killed 36 people and caused an estimated $1.85 billion in damage, making it the costliest natural disaster in state history. No storm has had more impacts on the area than this one, which is why Isabel is the worst hurricane in Central Virginia history.

Yes, Hurricane Isabel was one scary storm.  The wind was howling and we could hear trees falling but we couldn't see where they were falling.  Michoel, me, and the kids all slept together in one room cuz the kids were so scared. (OK, I was too; it was terrifying, especially since it was night and you literally had no idea if a tree was about to fall on your head. Add to that that there was no power, you can sorta get the idea.)  We woke up the next morning to find our neighbor lost part of their house.

Yes, that is my van in the first picture.  After a few days I abandoned ship and took off to New York with my kids. Destination, Crown Heights.  My good friend Ora took us in.  You have to realize that I was a coming there with 5 kids and no leaving date planned.  Yet she welcomed us with open arms.  We ended up staying by her until after Rosh Hoshana, when we finally had power back in Richmond.  (We had been without power for a full 11 days!)  For one of the day meals, we ate by my friend Chanie Moskowitz. She made a delish main dish, Veal Knish.  Over the years I have had to adept it, because she used puff pastry, and I no longer eat puff pastry. So without any further ado, I bring you ... 

VEAL KNISH

I'll just remind you once again, I do not use measuring spoons or cups unless I am following another recipe, until I learn it well enough to not use them. So bear with me here.

This past Shabbos I made them, and since it was just the three of us, I only had 1 pound of veal. The recipe does work better with 2 pounds, since the knishes are sooooo yummy.  (You are warned ahead of time; no complaining when you are popping these like candy. They are good both hot and cold!)  I serve them with gravy.

You take your ground veal, and brown in a skillet.  You want to get a really good sear on it.  I add onion powder, pepper, and ground cumin while it is sauteing.

(The only reason the cumin isn't organic is because after all these years I STILL haven't run out of the old one.  Looks like I am almost at the bottom of the jar, and the next one WILL be organic. Also, I usually use spelt matza meal, not regular.  They taste exactly the same, btw.)  Once you get a good sear, and the meat has cooled, add some matza meal to it.

Then you need to add some eggs.  I added 3, cuz it needs to be able to hold together well. 

Once it is all mixed together well, you can start adding them to the egg roll wrappers.  I found that you can get them very crispy by cooking them in the oven on a high temperature with very little oil.  I usually work with 3 or 4 at a time.  You need to work fast and keep the extra wrappers covered, cuz they dry out.  (Not as bad as phyllo dough, but don't walk away and start playing on Twitter and expect that they won't dry out.)  As I said, I spread 3 or 4 out, and you brush the sides with water.  Put a nice little lump of the veal mixture in the middle, near the bottom.

Then fold over the two sides, leaving the center open.  If you put too much filling in the middle, then when you roll them up, they won't seal well.  The brush water on the top half of the knish.  Don't worry about the bottom, it will seal up when you roll them.

Now the fun part, roll them up carefully while not popping a hole in them.  (Just cuz they look better when they are perfect.  You aren't frying them, so you don't have to worry about anything leaking out.)

Then you, Lather, Rinse, Repeat, until you either run out of egg roll wrappers or you run out of veal mixture.  I ran out of veal mixture first.  No big deal, wrap up the egg roll wrappers really well, and toss in the freezer for the next time.  (Or use heavily spiced mashed potatoes to make potato knishes!)  Once you have them all done, put them on a tray lined with parchment paper.  (I am a cheapskate; I reused the paper from my challah.)

Now, if you thought the rolling was fun, wait until you hear the next step! Dump out the water and fill your little bowl with some oil. Not a lot.  I probably put 2 tablespoons in and it was too much.  Now, hold them carefully in your hand and brush all the sides with oil.  Yes, it will get on your fingers, and no, I didn't take a picture because I didn't want to get oil on my phone. It's only two weeks old! 

Bake at 425 for ten minutes.  If you put them on the bottom rack, they will get very dark.  However, since these were going back in the oven before Shabbos, I didn't want them that dark.  I cooked them on the top rack.  After ten minutes, take them out, and turn each one over. 

Cook another 10 minutes, and then remove from the oven.

Serve hot with instant gravy (unless you know how to make gravy from scratch w/o a roast, then please LET ME KNOW!)

Again, no whining to me when you are popping these little babies like candy.  If you want to use puff pastry, then simply cut each sheet into three sections along the folds.  (You will have 6 sections in total.)  Put the veal mixture on one, and lay a second section on top.  Do that 2 more times, so you will have 3 veal knish logs.  Brush the top with an egg mixture, and bake at 425 for 15-20 minutes until the puff pastry gets golden brown.  It is a lot more fattening, and not as easy to eat cold.  Maybe that isn't such a bad thing, seeing as I just downed five of them in one sitting.  YIKES!  (I was hungry, stop laughing!)  Anyhoo, let me know if you make them and you like them.  In my house though, we call them Veal'nish.  Could someone pass me the gravy?