Another lesson was one of those inspiration videos that get sent around and around and around and around. (Please do NOT send those to me; I get tired of getting them so many times.) This one was about a professor who gave his class a test. He handed them a blank piece of paper with a dot in the middle. Their assignment was to describe what they see. They spent a long time describing the dot, where it was on the page, etc. The profession then told them, life is like the blank paper. The blank part is all the good in our life, but when you focus on the bad, it takes over everything else.
I sometimes remember to do this little trick when I leave my house. As I kiss the mezuzah, I try to think of one thing I am thankful for that I haven't mentioned before. I've been a little lax lately, so it's time to start that up again. So with that in mind, I would like to take a few minutes to list some of the good things in my life. They are not in any particular order.
If you've read my blog regularly you will understand that I am a reader. A compulsive reader. I'm one of those people who sit at the table and will read the nutritional information on the box if there is nothing else left to read. I am truly blown away by the beauty that surrounds us, and you can see it everywhere. Gorgeous trees, or stunning flowers. I will admit too that when I see a beautiful woman, or a darling little child, I do appreciate that beauty as well. I have had a lot of issues with my eyes, and it is very hard to focus on words when I read, and I do get some eye strain. So I am incredibly thankful to Hashem for my vision. Even as I struggle with reading, I am still thankful. I love seeing my little grandchildren. I love all the beautiful things Hashem has put into my life.
Another bracha that I feel Hashem has showered down on me is the ability to see His hand in my day to day life. Not always do we see it. Most of the time it is hidden. There are times though that to me is so obvious that I can't understand how others DON'T see it. A few weeks ago I was at a local consignment shop. I took my time, cuz I had a lot of it waiting to go pick my daughter up at school. I looked at everything. I mean, EVERYTHING. I found one pair of earrings that had 14K hooks, but I didn't think they were worth the money. The next morning, one of my treasure hunter friends (my mentor actually) posted a picture of 18K gold earrings she picked up. From the tag, I knew they were the store I was in the day before. Not only that, they were three weeks old, and marked down! They had been in that store for 3 whole weeks!!! AND ... I had never, ever, ever seen them before. Sometimes when my friend shows me things, I know that I passed them up. In this case, although I had been to that store three times, I never noticed them. And it can only be for one reason, and one reason along. Those earrings were not meant to be mine, they were my friend's earrings. Hashem had them sit there until it was time for her to find them. There is nothing in the world that I or anyone else could have done to get those earrings, as they belonged to her. The yad Hashem (hand of Hashem) was soooo unbelievably clear to me. It happens to me so many times in my treasure hunting, where I see stories like this. Hashem deliberately closed my eyes and opened her's.
I really didn't want to start listing people in my life, because then I run the risk of missing someone. But, there is a group of people that I am SOOOOO thankful to have in my life. I have the a group of friends from high school who I am still in touch with. I know that I mentioned this on the last post, but it bears repeating. In my bereavement group, there are women who lost friends. People whose friends would cross to the other side of the road because you know ... a kid dying from cancer is contagious and they can't get near you. I have friends who have been told very insensitive things from their "friends", maybe because they lack empathy, I don't know. All I know is that my friends have been with me through thick and thin. And it's not just me. It's all of collectively that are so totally connected to one another. My friends came down here Yossi died. They came for the first yartzeit. They came for a whole shabbos on the 10th yartzeit. One named her child after him. They call me on the yartzeit, or they just let me cry to them. They celebrate when I have a simcha, and understand that it is very bittersweet for me. These are a group of friends who never experienced the loss of a child, and yet they have the care and compassion of someone who did (lo alainu a million times over). We've been friends since high school. And yes, we had our good times and a few bad times (hey, we are all human!). But I think that at this point in our lives, we are bonded together forever in a friendship of love. It's such a bracha to have such a strong friendship to fall back onto.
(This picture is 3 years old, from Shauly's wedding.)
This may sound stupid, but I am so thankful for the plethora of Jewish novels available now. Years ago I decided to stop reading books that are not on a religious Jewish theme. I remember years and years ago how few and far between such novels were. I would anxiously await the books, and literally gobble them up as fast as they could be published, which was every few months. Now, every few weeks there are novels being published. OK, so the editing still needs a little work, but the amount of typos I find is a lot less than I used to find. Having so many books and Jewish magazines is such a huge bonus to a compulsive reader.
Another thing that I am immensely thankful for is Jewish music. Yeah, I gave up listening to non-Jewish music a while ago. I do splurge when a new CD comes out. For years after Yossi died I wasn't able to listen to music. Now, it's very rare to find it quiet in my house. Often, the speakers are blasting (and yes, I mean blasting; I like the music LOUD) out music. There is such a huge variety to choose from. I find that fast music also lifts me up when I am feeling down, which is yet another reason to be thankful.
I am thankful for the internet. Yeah, I know ... It can be very dangerous, leading to things that are not appropriate for a bas Yisroel. BUT, through the magic of technology, I have connected to so many people I never would have. I made friends world wide. I have learned a lot about many different topics. (I love learning and exploring new ideas and/or concepts.) I have drunk thirstily from the vast CHABAD.ORG library (as you know cuz I often talk about what I hear or watch there). You can a answer to virtually any question here too. And again, I have connected to many other women who have walked in the same path I have, giving support and encouragement in times of need.
My recommendation to you ... take a minute, and come up with something in your life you don't usually say thank you to Hashem for, and thank Him for it.
😘 I hope that this was a more happy and uplifting post than the last one.
My recommendation to you ... take a minute, and come up with something in your life you don't usually say thank you to Hashem for, and thank Him for it.
😘 I hope that this was a more happy and uplifting post than the last one.
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