Sunday, September 20, 2015

Sad, sad state we are in

I got my new issue of the N'shei Chabad Newsletter.  There is a section there called "Open House" where you write about anything you want.  So some guy writes in about how he was a concerned parent when he dropped his kid off at camp.  Some other guy who was leaving the shul patted some little kid on the head.  The guy complained to the director that no one should be walking through the camp.  (He's right about that.)  On his way out, he passed the guy who patted the kid on the head.  He said to this guy, I know you meant well, but never touch a kid who isn't yours.

THIS IS A PROBLEM!  How sad!  When I first started teaching back in the 80s, there was no problem with touch a kid.  I vividly remember hugging kids who struggled and then got it right.  I patted kids on the head for reading nicely.  Hey, I'm a touchy-feely kind of gal, so it was just part of who I am.  Over the years, that slowly stopped.  I took a hiatus for a few years.  When I went back, the rules had changed.  No, you can't touch a kid.  At all. Imagine now how helpless, useless, and totally stupid I felt when one of my kids, a third grader I think, got a nose bleed. All I could do was hand him a tissue and say, pinch your nose real hard.  Yeah, it was doozer.  I'd been through them with Yossi (a'h), and I knew exactly what to do, how hard to pinch, how to tilt his head, but all I could do was tell him what to do and get the principal in to call his mom.  WHAT A STUPID WASTE!  The kid was probably scared, but I didn't want to take a chance.

Same reason why my father in law wouldn't give my kids baths.  What kind of world have we created?  A world where people can hold a gay parade and run around naked, but a woman breast feeding her baby is disgusting.  A woman who won't issue gay marriage certificates is thrown in jail, and yet I have not heard a single word from anyone here (besides conservatives) about gays being thrown off buildings.  Women here are up in arms because some of us find it disgusting to kill babies and sell their body parts, but have nothing to say about the rape of women and young girls, nor about the genital mutation that goes on as well.  Not one peep. Complete crickets.  WestBoro Baptist Church wants to picket the funerals of military men who lost their lives serving our country screaming G-d hates Fags, and that is OK.  But G-d forbid a person should refer to Bruce Jenner as a man.  The saddest part?  These so called progressives so no hypocrisy here.  Nope.  Not one bit.

Ker a velt.  We need to try and turn the world right-side up, because right now it is so upside down.  I really gotta stop listening to the news, because it is just so crazy.  My head feels like exploding so many times from the sheer lunacy that is considered completely normal.  Anyway.  That's it. Rant over for this second.

Tuesday, September 15, 2015

Whose money is it really?

Teshuva, Tefilla, and Tzedakah ...

We hear that over and over again during this Tishrei holiday season.  We should return to Hashem, connect to Him via prayer, and give a lot of tzedakah.
What exactly is tzedakah.  People translate it as "charity".  Except, that does not serve as an accurate translation. The real translation is "justice".  Hashem has set this world up in such as a way as there are the haves and the have nots.  There are people who have a lot of money, and there are people, lo alainu (it shouldn't happen to us), that don't have.  So why in the world would G-d do that?  Doesn't it make more sense for Him to just make every one equal? We could all have a set amount of money, food, clothes, and lalala, the world would be awesome, right?  But no. That is not the way Hashem has set it up for a lot of reasons. First of all, by making people unequal in wealth, He has set us up with the ability to think of others. We can become G-dly by performing these acts of kindness.  When a person toils over their living, and then they bring it home, there is a certain satisfaction that comes from their hard work.  Then along comes G-d and He says, take some of that money that you sweated and worked hours for, and give it away.  That's right!  Just give it away.  (No, I'm not talking about donating it to yourself, or give it to people who choose to just sit around doing nothing.) There are plenty of people who for whatever reason just don't have. Either they are ill, or have an ill family member, or just don't have mazel in finding a job. Whatever.  They just don't have the money we have.  By taking our hard earned money, and giving it to someone who has less than we have, we are creating justice through our act of kindness. We are showing Hashem is the true source of our income.  (Truthfully, that is what Rosh Hashanah is all about!  Declaring Hashem our King, and that every single thing we have, good health, money, clothes, house, kids, it ALL comes from Him.)  
Tanya teaches us this over and over again.  Sometimes we hear a person say, times are really tight right now; I can't give. That is the wrong attitude. That is EXACTLY the time we are SUPPOSED to give.  After all, if you believe that Hashem runs the world, and Hashem gives us parnasa, then you need to believe that Hashem will give you the money to give to tzedakah.

I've seen this happen so many times.  Like the time I pledged $480 to tzedakah.  That pledge was made at a time when I didn't have a job and I had no income.  No way to earn that money.  Not a single way.  Then I hit upon an idea ... a friend had taught me about selling jewelry.  It was my FIRST time doing it.  I made two sales, and I said, the money I earn from these sales will go to the my pledge.  I made the money with a dollar extra!  Which leads me to this week.

Last week I kept reminding myself ... I have to donate to Colel Chabad.  Colel Chabad Rosh Hashanah campaign They are an incredible organization in Israel that provides for the poor families there.  It is one of my favorite organizations to give to.  When you click on the link, you will see what I saw ... $180 feeds a needy family with small children for the entire month of Tishrei.  Whoa! That shocked me incredibly!  I was at first debating between $54 & $72.  When I saw that, I thought to myself, Hey, I spend more than that a WEEK on food for my family.  How can I not give more?  And besides, Hashem will pay for it.  With a very clear conscience, I clicked on the $180 tab.  I knew with all my heart, Hashem will cover the bill.  (You also have to understand that right now I have run my credit cards up with my jewelry purchases.  Which is why I hesitated for half a second.)  I also thought it would help me on Rosh Hashanah when I stand in front of Hashem, so I did have an ulterior motive!  Now, I sorta forgot about it, until tonight, when I turned my phone on after yom tiff.  I hear kachings (the sound my eBay app makes when I make a sale), and was like, OH, what did I sell?  [FYI-- I asked my rav if I am allowed to leave my ebay auctions up on holidays and shabbos.  This is NOT a pasak ... you have to ask your own rav.]  Even more surprising is the fact I sold anything, since I set my store to "vacation mode".  Meaning, it shows that I am not around and not shipping until tomorrow.  So now, what did I sell ... I sold a gold bracelet that has been sitting up there since last July, and a really ugly silver silver necklace (in my not so humble opinion, but hey, I just sell them; I don't wear them!).  The grand total after eBay fees, PayPal fees, and shipping ... $367!  Yup.  You read that right.  Not only did Hashem pay for my donation, but he gave it to me double!

So my advice to anyone who reads this is this --- DONATE, DONATE, DONATE!  Never hesitate to stretch out your hand or tax your credit card bill.  I'm not saying to go nuts, and donate a million dollars.  Just donate what you really think you can, and Hashem will handle it for you.  I'll blog another time about the idea of "chomesh", giving 20% rather than the mandatory 10%, because it really is true.  Hashem WILL give you back your money and more.

Wishing everyone a gmar chasima tova.  May we all be inscribed for a good and sweet year with Moshiach!!!

(One last note -- I am loathe to share my mitzvos.  I hate when people list that so and so did this or that.  The only reason I am sharing this story is to encourage as many people as possible to give donations with a very open and free hand.  Especially during this Tishrei season when there are so many expenses.)

Thursday, September 10, 2015

The Gift of Teshuva

The Jewish month of Elul is an amazing time to me.  Teshuva is often translated as repentance.  That doesn't do the word justice.  Teshuva means, To Return.  To return to what?  Hashem has set up a path for us to follow.  He's given us the Torah (and the other nations have the Seven Noahide Laws), and it has all our laws.  It has our moralities.  It literally has an answer for anything that may come up in life, if you know where to look.  In order for us not to be robots, G-d has given us a challenge.  He's given us this guy whose sole job is to make us mess up.  The yatzer hora, or evil inclination, is so tricky and conniving!  He isn't going to tell ME to use my phone on Shabbos when no one is around.  Oh no.  He knows where my weakness are, and that is where he digs in.  When I give in to these temptations, I have veered off the path G-d wants me on.  Teshuva means to return to that path.
IT'S AN AMAZING THING!!!! For me personally, I have people who have hurt me in some way.  I have a friend who did something very thoughtless years ago.  I cut off contact with this person, because I can't see past what happened. Every time I think of her, I think of what happened.  It has colored the way I view her, and not in a flattering way.  There are people who we get into fights with, or we just don't connect with.  It's very hard to view the person totally objectively.  (I am speaking ONLY to myself here.)  Hashem is different.  When I am sorry, and I truly with all my heart regret a mistake I have made, Hashem completely forgives me.  Not only is not like it never happened.  Oh NO!  Hashem takes it one step further.  When I make a mistake, and regret it, and use it as a learning experience on how to come closer to G-d, He actually turns that mistake into a merit!  Imagine that!  An avaira (sin) becomes a mitzvah!!!  THAT BLOWS MY MIND!  How kind is Hashem to give us this wonderful.  Not only does He forgive us, He does it lovingly, with a very open heart.  We can use the power of teshuva to actually travel through time, and take a mistake and make it a merit!
The point of the whole post today is two fold.  First, to bring to light how huge this is.  In my book, this is one of the most incredible gifts Hashem has given us.  Second, we need to try and emulate G-d.  I know for me this is hard.  But one of the things I would like to try to do is work on being more forgiving and seeing past those long gone issues.  I'm trying to view each person as a new person.  Not the one who hurt me.  Oiy.  Now the big question is ... do I write to that person and try to re-establish a relationship? Or do I just move on?  What would you do?  Does being a forgiving mean reopening your heart with the chance it may get broken again?  Is that a lack of trust?  Does that show I haven't moved on yet?  Oiy.  Elul is such a deep and introspective time.  We are running out of days.  Use your last few days wisely!

Wednesday, September 9, 2015

Why I carry a gun ...

I wrote this article in 2009.  It was printed in the N'shei Newsletter.

Being a child born to parents of the '60s, I grew up in an anti-war, anti-gun environment. Guns were evil. My mom used to tell me, “Guns kill people”. My brother never played cops & robbers, or cowboys & indians for one simple reason – there were no guns in our house. Not even a toy gun. So I guess it was no surprise when I had my kids that guns were absent from their many toys. Imagine my horror then when on his first day of preschool my 2 year old Yossi (a'h) came home and immediately showed me what he had learned. He took three Duplos and stuck them together, two smaller ones in a stack on the bottom of one longer one and voila! He had a toy gun. Over the years, there were various requests. “Can I have a water gun?” “What about a cap gun?” Always the same answer, “No, not in my house.” When Yossi got sick though, I did give in and allow my in-laws to buy him some. (He was living in their house; so technically, it wasn't in my house. I was never comfortable with the idea that he was playing with guns.

Fast forward to this past presidential election. One night I was looking through how each candidate felt about each issue. The question of gun control came up.
“Q: Is the D.C. law prohibiting ownership of handguns consistent with an individual’s right to bear arms?” 1 Whoa, wait a second! There is a law in Washington, DC, preventing the ownership of a handgun? I was intrigued to find out that there are several places where owning a handgun is illegal, and one of the then candidates felt that this was within the realms of the US Constitution. That didn't seem right me. I starting looking some more, and was even more surprised to find the reasoning behind these laws ... if you prevent homeowners from having guns, you will prevent the criminals from getting them in the first place. (I think their faulty reasoning is that robbers breaking into houses and steal the legal hand guns.) This started me on an quest for information that I never ever imagined I would go on. I started looking into what exactly is our second amendment. What I found shocked me and turned my world upside down. The cities with the strictest gun control laws have the highest crime rates. Think of which cities have bans on owning a handgun – NY city; Chicago; Washington DC. They also have the highest crime rates in the whole country. It seems to me that if someone has no regard for the laws of not robbing, not raping, and not murdering, they are certainly not going to follow the law of not owning a handgun. In fact, the citizens who legally own their guns tend to be the most law abiding citizens, scrupulously following the laws set upon them. With this in mind, I set out to my local shooting range. A friend offered me a practical piece of advice – start small. So I arrived at the range, and for the first time in my life, I stood there trying to decide which gun I wanted to use. I picked a semi-automatic .22. They were extremely helpful, showing me how to load the gun, how to aim, and gave me some pointers. With a cheerful wave and a smile, and a nice “Have Fun!” I headed off to the range. My whole body shook as I loaded 10 bullets into the gun. Even though it was January, I wasn't shivering from the cold. I shook with fear, knowing I head a lethal weapon in my hand. I gave up after 15 rounds, although I was quite proud of myself for actually doing it. (I joked around that my hands were no longer innocent.) I did return the next week, and the next week and even the next one after that. I worked my way up from that little .22 to a 9 mm and then finally settled on a Smith and Wesson .357. I was hooked! I wanted a gun for personal protection. I liked the look and feel, and was able to control it very nicely. Next in my quest was to actually buy it. It seems that the one I picked was back ordered every where. I finally found it from an online auction site. Before anyone thinks that just anyone can buy a gun online, let me point this out ... the gun can only ship to an authorized dealer who runs all the usual background checks. (The gun I ultimately got is a revolver, not a semi-automatic like I had originally started out with.)

My in-laws think it is so funny how I have done such a total 180 on this issue. I have gone being totally against to being pro-gun ownership. I did take my kids to the shooting range. One daughter wanted nothing to do with it. My boys loved it. Our range offers a private safety class for children. It teaches them basic gun safety, and actually takes them onto the range where they get to use both a semi-automatic and a revolver. My gun sits in a special gun safe fully loaded with extra ammo. I sleep a little better knowing I have protection. I also took an extensive 9 hour class on gun safety. After passing this class, I was able to apply for my Concealed Handgun Permit. I am in the process of trying to decide what gun I want to carry on my person. It is a hard decision, because I want to make sure it is small and light, but big enough to have good stopping power. Recently, I was asked, “Why do you feel you need to have a gun?” I don't live in a high crime area. However, a short while ago, there was an incident a few homes away in which a young lady was kidnapped at gun point. The economy is taking a turn for the worse, and unfortunately, it is known that at times like these crime rates tend to go up. I want to know that if chas v'shalom something happens, my family will be protected. Last week, at a local convenience store, a guy walked in and shot the owner two times. He then tried to round up the other patrons, but met with an unexpected surprise. One of them was armed, and his quick action saved many lives. Surveillance footage shows that several times this robber aimed his gun at innocent people. It was an armed citizen who saved the lives of these other shoppers.

Sadly, the places that need armed protection the most are sorely lacking. I teach at our local Chabad Hebrew School. The front door is open to allow the kids to come in and parents to go out. After what happened in Mumbai, I am scared. I want to make sure nothing like that happens chas v'shalom in our Chabad House. However, state law prohibits me from bringing my loaded gun into the class (even if it is strapped to me in a holster or in my pocket book). What good would my gun be locked in my car? April 2, 2009, Nicole & Ben Goeser were eating in a restaurant in Nashville, TN. Although Nicole had a concealed weapons permit, she had to leave her gun locked in her car during dinner. The law on the books at that time prohibited CHP holders from carrying in a restaurant that serves liquor. Ben was gunned down right before Nicole's eyes, while she sat there; helpless to do anything. (Nicole was instrumental in changing this law, but it won't bring back her husband.) Time and time again, if you search carefully, you can find stories that get buried in the news. The truth about guns is this – GUNS SAVE LIVES. Criminals think twice about entering a home if they know there is a chance that they will be looking down the barrel of a gun. Think of all the people the brave guard of the National Holocaust Museum saved by shooting the crazed lunatic. It is too horrifying to think what might have happened had those guards been sitting there with nothing more than a “Please don't shoot us” that day. It is the cities that have taken the guns away from home owners and left them sitting ducks. According to the book, The Bias Against Guns by John R. Lott Jr., the homicide bombers in Eretz Yisroel originally tried shooting people in a busy Yerushalayim area. After their first attempt, they gave up. Too many Israeli citizens are armed. It was that realization that led them to start strapping bombs to themselves. There is a bumper sticker among gun advocates: When seconds count, the police are only minutes away. Interestingly enough, Jews are usually the ones who are the pacifists. It was the Jews in Germany who urged others to give up their guns when the Nazis (yamach shmo) started to un-arm citizens. It is not something that is usually talked about, but given the situation in the world, I don't think it would hurt for all of us to become familiar with how to work a gun, and into owning one. I do realize that if Rivky & Gavi (HY”D) had had guns it wouldn't have helped them. (The pictures I saw of the terrorists were horrifying. They had bullet proof vests and automatic weapons and a lot of clips with extra ammunition.) I do feel against a single gunman though, a homeowner or a Chabad House or a school should be able to fight back.

And my kids now? Do I let them play with guns? No. Because guns are not toys. I don't like the idea of them running around and pretending to shoot someone. I want them to respect and appreciate the gun for what it is, a valuable tool used for the preservation of human life.
1http://www.ontheissues.org/2008/Barack_Obama_Gun_Control.htm

Friday, September 4, 2015

Global cooling, I mean warming, I mean climate change

ARGH!  I can't take this anymore!!  I am so sick and tired of hearing all these liberals crying that we are destroying the Earth.  They are the world's biggest hypocrites about this whole issue.

Take for instance, all these "important people" who tell us we have to make changes.  Obummer, Pelosi, Al Gore, they all live like kings and do whatever they want. They trot all over the world, leaving behind "huge carbon emissions".  Obama pumps up the heat the White House in the winter, and I'm sure it's very cool in the summer.  When a person believes something, truly believes it, they follow it.  I believe pesticides and GMOs are dangerous to my body.  I don't eat them.  I don't feed them to my family.  I don't even feed them to my friends!  I wouldn't give them to animals.  I view them as poison.  If all these alarmist believed what they were preaching, they would lead by example. Instead, they tell US what we have to do, while they are too important to do it!  

If this was a real thing, they would not be behaving the way they do.  (case in point-- the polar ice caps are not melting; science has proven it.  google it.  Tell a lie often enough, people will start to believe it.)

See, when I was a kid in the '70s, I remember hearing the next ice age was coming. We were warned not to use aerosols.  No hair spray or spray deodorant if we wanted to prevent the next ice age.  Oops, then it turned out in the late 80s-early 90s that the earth was warming.  So now it was called Global Warming.  The polar ice caps were supposed to be gone by 2011.  When that year came and went, they pushed it back to 2035.  Too bad for them that the 2000s brought a decade with lower temperatures than the 80s-90s.  Basically ,the Earth cycles.  It makes sense to me. Everything in life cycles, if you think about it.  Warmer, cooler, warmer cooler.  If someone wants to pay higher electric bills, by all means, go ahead.  Don't tell me I have to.  BTW, I don't recycle, because that is another hoax.  All those lovely coke bottles that you lovingly drop into the recycle bin are shipped to China on a huge freight ship so that cheap labor can separate the 3 forms of plastic.  (the bottle, ring, and label are all different types; they can not be ground up together.)  These workers get paid bubkas!  Then, some company makes them into something else, which is again shipped back to the US on a huge freight ship, leaving a ginormous carbon foot print behind. 
If they really believed this, they wouldn't do it. 

Sunday, August 16, 2015

Rosh chodesh Elul

I'm probably the last person in the world who should be writing this, but since when has that ever stopped me from doing anything?
Tonight is the second say of Rosh chodesh, alef Elul, (A quick shout out ... Happy anniversary to Shauly and Zahava!) A time for introspection. My good friend Zeldy a'h used to tell me about how when she was younger, you could feel when Elul had arrived. Everything and everyone just knew it. This has always intrigued me, and I never had a chance to find out exactly what she meant. Or I forgot. 😢
One of my friends on My Fitness Pal had a great status about us using this month to make better choices for ourselves, both physically and spiritually. Ones that may not give us instant gratification, but in the long run, will be better for us.
Whoa! That's a really, really heavy thought! I think actually, it's brilliant. The hardest part is figuring out how to implement this!!!
For me, I'm impulsive. I have a big, fat mouth that often works faster than ny brain. Which tends to get me into trouble. A lot. Not cool, I know. At least I'm humble enough to know when I need to apologize. Most of the time I manage to actually do it, although, not always.
So here it is, Rosh Chodesh Elul, and yes Zeldy, I feel it. This year, everything feels different already. I've got a lot of work cut out for me, and I have 40 days to do it.
Join me on the journey? Can't change the world until we change ourselves.

Friday, August 14, 2015

Hashem pays for Shabbos and Yom Tov

We've all heard it before ... what you spend on Shabbos and Yom Tiff does not count in your yearly income.

I once read a story in Meoras Hashabbos that a certain rabbi (forgive me; his name slipped my mind) used to take his kids to the store on Eruv Shabbos, and let them pick out whatever candies and treats they wanted.  He would throw up his hands and tell them, "Take whatever you want kids!  It's all free!"

Over the years, I have tried very hard to remember to say, "l'kavod shabbos kodesh" when I go grocery shopping for shabbos food.  This week is a special shabbos.  It's both Shabbos AND Rosh Chodesh Elul.  I really wanted to do something special for this shabbos, and decided to get some flowers.  Martins has lovely arrangements for a very reasonable price.  When I got there, there were several arrangements I saw, and had a real hard time choosing.  Finally, after a lot of deliberations, I picked these --


As I went to put them in the cart, a thought struck me.  I bought flowers a few weeks ago for Shabbos Chazon.  (I had figured it was a hard shabbos leading right into Tisha B'Av, so that flowers would brighten it up.)  I was thinking my husband may not be too happy with the purchase.  (He's very practical; I'm the impulsive spend-thrift.)  Then I remember that from time to time we get rebate checks for little, odd amounts.  I know that what you get for shabbos, doesn't really come from our account. So I figured, I'll take the flowers and Hashem will send us some checks to pay for them.

Fast forward several hours... My husband comes home work.  (He didn't go into the dining room.)  He comes into the kitchen with the mail in his hand.  Guess what he was holding?  Yup!  A rebate check.  I screamed, "I bet it's for $16.47!!!"  Then I told him the whole story of the flowers.  Well, he opens it, and ... it was only for $11 something.  BUT ... he had another rebate check in his hand as well.  YUP!!!  It was for $5 something, bringing the total to $17.46!!!  I was jumping up and down.  Hashem openly revealed what I have always believed.

And as that rabbi in Yerushalayim used to say, Buy whatever you want for Shabbos, because you aren't paying for it.  Hakodesh Baruch Hu is!

Wishing every a wonderful, wonderful Shabbos, and may we celebrate it together with Moshiach and the Third Bais Hamikdash!

Wednesday, August 5, 2015

Is it ever right to steal & Illegals

When I still have Facebook, I asked a question.
Suppose a guy is caught stealing bread, milk, and eggs.  Is that OK?  He was doing it to feed his family.
A lot of people then argued with me.  This is a hard one.  He is stealing to feed his family.  I asked if it makes a difference if he steals from Wal-Mart, or a small Mom & Pop store.  Never really got a real answer on that.
Here is the thing.  STEALING IS WRONG.  It is wrong, wrong, wrong.  It is AGAINST the law.  Maybe a person has a good reason for steal, but we have laws in our society. The minute we start looking the other way for certain things, we have lost our morals.  We have lost our community. We have anarchy.
I know it comes across as cold and heartless, but what difference does it make if someone steals a chicken to feed the family, or a cell phone?  They need the chicken; they stole the cell phone because they felt they needed it.
As a society, we have totally lost our way.  If a family hurting so badly they need to steal, then as a society, we have failed them. And this is the heart of the problem. WE ARE A COMMUNITY.  Each area, whether it is a small Jewish "ghetto" (not said in a bad; my friends get the reference), or a large church ... whatever. We are joined by our values and morals.  If each community were to take care of its own, then we wouldn't have this problem at all.  The problem is, that the Democrats came in 40-50 years ago, and told the black communities that they don't need families.  Have babies with lots of different fathers, and we will give you housing, food, we will take care of you. So that is what happened.  Church attendance is down.  In the areas where church attendance is still up, they are not as crime ridden as the areas where there is no church.  The liberal progressives have progressed so far that they took G-d totally out of their lives.  When you live a life devoid of G-d, then life has no value.  How do you think that someone could actually kill another human being?  They are not viewing that individual as a person!  The humanity is getting lost.
What does this have to do with illegals?  So many people in this country are willing to look the other way for a lot of reasons.  Some say they are trying to make a better life for themselves.  Some say that they do the jobs Americans don't want to do.  Whatever the reason, the second they cross the border into America, they have already committed a crime.  Does it matter why?  No.  Law is law is law.  What part of ILLEGAL do people not get?  Why is this so difficult to comprehend.

Think about this the next time you are walking to your car.  How would you feel if someone stole your car in order to get to work every day?

Sunday, July 12, 2015

Liz Lovely

Liz Lovely.  Sounds so sweet, right?  Well, IT IS!

A few months ago I discovered these super delish cookies at Ellwood Thompson's.  These cookies are absolutely INCREDIBLE.  I kid you not. They are kosher (chof-k pareve), non-GMO, gluten free (I personally don't care; the first two are what matter to me), and come in a ton of yummy flavors.  My absolute favorite is the triple chocolate mint cookie.

Here's what happened ... I was going on vacation to New York and New Jersey for a while, but I didn't have time to pick some up before I left.  No biggie; I figured I would get them on the road.  First day of the trip, and I gobbled up my last remaining triple chocolate mint cookie.  Two days later, when I showed up in Long Island, I googled where to get them.  BROOKLYN?  ARE YOU KIDDING ME?  Do you have any idea how long it takes to get from Long Island to Brooklyn?  Fine!  I'll make do without for a few more days.  However, by the time I got to Brooklyn, I literally didn't have a minute to pop into Whole Foods (right in Park Slope! Who knew?).  So I figured I would get them when I went to Goldie in NJ.  Murphy's Law, right?  I get to NJ, and the closest store is 20-30 mins away.  This time I was smart, and called.  Well, sadly, they only had two of the three flavors and they don't stock the triple chocolate mint cookie.

Next up was our stop in Silver Springs.  Once again, the cookie gods were against me.  I could not for the life of me locate the Whole Foods.  Nor did I feel like attempting to find the stores that did stock the cookies.  (I made do with the Enjoy Life cookies, which, while they are good, they do not hold a candle to these cookies.)

Finally, arrive home, and you guessed it ... I was too tired to go out to get some.  Hubby offered to satisfy my craving and go for me, but he was also tired, and I didn't want to make him go out for a cookie.  (what was I thinking???)

Today, after almost 3 weeks of triple chocolate mint withdrawal, I FINALLY GOT MY COOKIE!  The cookies were frozen, but I didn't care.  I ate it anyway!  Yes, greedy piggie that I am at a whole cookie, which is actually two servings. They are that good.
Did I whet your appetite for these yet?  I don't work for Liz Lovely.  I am just one incredibly happy customer who believes in sharing her great finds with her friends.  BTW, if you happen to have a "health food store" in Long Island, Brooklyn, or Lakewood, I was the nut job who hit every store telling them to get their hands on these cookies!
http://lizlovely.com/

Runner up on flavors --- snickerdoodles.  I also like the cowboy cookies.  I picked up a cowgirl cookie, as well as the Chocolate Moose Dragon.  So when you hear me complaining that nothing fits, you'll know why!

Wednesday, June 10, 2015

L'iluey Nishmas

This morning, my friend posted to our classes What's App group that it was her brother's yartzeit.  My first thought was, OH, how sad!  My second thought was, I'm going learn something in his memory.
Shortly there after, someone else posted this thought--

At yechidus (private meeting with a Rebbe), the Rebbe Maharash once told the Rebbe Rashab: "The yetzer hara, though called an 'animal', can at times act slyly, and clothe itself in the guise of a straightforward, humble tzaddik, so that one really has to be clever enough to uncover its tricks. The yetzer hara manifests itself in each individual according to his nature. One person may suddenly feel a powerful desire to learn Chassidus [at a particular time], yet that desire is coming from the yetzer hara, who is trying to prevent him from davening at length, or the like."
The Rebbe Maharash concluded, "Take this as a general rule and remember it always. If something actually leads to active avoda (in refining one's middos) and is met up with opposition, then that opposition, even the noblest, is coming from the yetzer hara."
Relating this episode, the Rebbe Rashab added, "When I left that yechidus, I changed my avoda completely. Until then, I had assumed that the yetzer hara could only encourage a person to do negative things, and it is therefore necessary for one to be cautious only concerning those matters. I had never imagined that there could be a frum yetzer hara, let alone a chassidishe yetzer hara, who is there just to restrain a person from being involved in his true avoda."
(היום יום כ"ג סיון, אג"ק מהוריי"צ ח"ד ע' סז)
When I read this, I immediately thought of something that happened to me a few years ago.  Something happened, and it caused me for a few minutes to rethink things that were done when Yossi (a'h) was dying.  It made me think, Maybe I made a mistake!  Maybe if I had done this instead of that, the outcome would have been different.
I called my very wise friend, who also happens to be a bereaved mom.  I ran this whole thought by her.  What she said was so profound.  She asked me, how does this make you feel?  I blurted out, awful!  She told me that if you have a thought, and it makes you feel bad, then this thought is not coming from a good place.  It's coming from the yatzer hora.  The idea is that the bad thought will bring you down.  It will depress you.  Once you are in a bad mood, you will no longer want to do mitzvos.  Not necessarily skip every mitzvah.  But maybe for that one moment, you aren't going to bentch, or maybe you won't say tehillim, or maybe you won't cover up your elbow right that second, whatever.  It's something.  So all I am asking, if anyone happens to read this (since I never manage to actually post the stuff I start writing), is to please, l'iluey nishmas Yehoshua Shlomo ben Eliezer Tzvi Zev, the next time you hear something that sounds sad, take that energy, and convert it into good.  Go and say tehillim, or do a mitzvah, or inspire someone else.  Then you will know that the thoughts, even though they can be sad, and they can come from the Yatzer Hora, can be turned into good.
AD MOSAI!  HKB"H!  We need Moshiach already!!!
Blowing kisses to my friend -- You know who you are.

Wednesday, April 15, 2015

27 on the 27th

Tonight is Yossi's (a'h) special birthday.  He would have been turning 27 this year, on the 27th of Nissan.


It's so weird.  27 years ago, I didn't even know him.  27 years later, I still don't know him. The hardest part of losing a child is losing the future.  Children ARE the future.  I think about it, especially around his birthday.  Who would he have become?  Who would he have married, the kids he would have had, what profession he would have been, all of it.

Stop.  Not going to focus on the sad parts of this.  Going to look for the good that has come out of it.

First, the best thing that came out of this is, and it is so personal and private, that I hesitate to post it.  I'll say it to give inspiration to anyone who is lo alainu going through this.  The best thing is that my husband and I became closer.  I do think from what I have read that it is basically a myth that the death of a child breaks up a marriage.  The death of a child exasperates the feelings a million times.  If the marriage dies along with the child, then that marriage was going sour before the child died.  Michoel is the only person in the whole world who has gone through this with me, the whole thing, together, side by side.  (I am trying so hard to explain this, and the words are failing me.  I'm sorry!)  There were other people along the way, but no one was with me and continues to be with me 24/7.  (I guess it really is true about being a soul mate.  He is half of me, and I, him.)  So that is a major good thing.  It was the cement in our relationship.


I think that I have become more empathetic to other people's suffering.  Before, I would hear a sad story, and be like, "oh, that's sad".  Now, I feel the pain.  I feel that it has made me a better person than I was before.  The funny thing is, that when Yossi first got sick, the hospital social worker said that people interviewed many years later say that while they would never want their child to get sick, they are glad they went through it.  Sorry, I can't say that.  I am happy I am a better person.  Truthfully, I would rather be a callous person and still have my son here.  LOL ... that is actually so callous of me to write that!

Next ... the incredible amount of mitzvos that have been done, l'iluey nishmas.  I don't even know all of them.  I just know that there are a lot, and he continues to touch people even today, 14+ years after his passing.


Yossi's library.  I just did a quick total. There are over 1600 books there!  Yeah, it's a real library.  A real treasure for our community. Now if I could get more people to use it!

The friends I have made along the way are another bonus.  I have met the most wonderful people.  I would never have met some of them if I hadn't lost him.  (Again, sorry friends ... would rather not know you if it meant having Yossi here.)


My favorite Yossi story, very poignant and bitter sweet.  When I had Yossi, there was a frum nurse in the delivery room.  She came to me the next day, and told me that she was a Holocaust survivor. She said that it was so beautiful to see a Jewish baby being born on Yom Hashoah.  That was the type of neshama he had.  (If anyone knows a frum nurse named Bella with a European accent who worked at Maimonides Hospital 27 years ago, let me know!)

(check back tomorrow ... I'll try to scan more pictures. Every one of these pictures are of Yossi on his birthday.)

Tuesday, April 14, 2015

Regrets

If you read yesterday's blog about the jewelry jars, you'll get what I am going to say about today's adventures.
So I made my calls ... two stores had jars.  I checked my stash of discount cards.  I knew I was low. Well, turns out that yesterday I did use the last card.  I therefore had to go to the farther store.  I had to stop three times to get a new card stamped.  (The last stamp was going to be at the store.)  As I am driving along, making the stops, I thought about all the times I could have stopped, and didn't.  Just yesterday I decided not to drive by one.  I was kicking myself today, why didn't I do it yesterday?  What about all those times that I ran in to see if there were jars, and I was too lazy to give in something.  So many times.
Then it hit ... Something I learned in JLI (Jewish Learning Institute).  Gehinom, the Jewish "idea" of what Hell is, consists mostly of deep, horrifying regret.  The example given was at the end of Shindler's List, Oskar is upset.  He is crying, "I could have done more!  This watch!  If I had sold this watch, I could have saved one more Jew.  And this car!  I could have saved three with the car."  He is broken.  People are comforting him, telling him how much he did do.  But he still feels this regret.  Why didn't I do more when I had the chance to?  That deep regret is what our souls are going to feel when we finish with this world.  We will see a movie of our lives, and we will see the moments we missed a chance to do a mitzvah.  Here is a forgotten bracha, there is a missed chance to smile hello to a co-worker.  Every single moment that we "missed" will be highlighted. The soul will realize that it is too late now to do those things, and it will feel such regret.  
And that is what I realized today.  Just like I "missed" so many chances to get my card stamped, and now it is "too late".  
All day today, I kept thinking about that ... how many moments of our lives are passing us by and we don't realize that a moment to do a mitzva has slipped by?  How many tiny things just blew by us, like sand falling through our hands?  
As the Baal Shem Tov said, everything that happens to us for a reason. There is something for us to learn out from it.  You are reading my blog.  You are reading about missed chances.  This is your chance to make a difference.  Try to carry around with you the thought that you don't want to regret later what you could have done today.

No blog post would be complete without my mentioning the 4/14 numbers.  Today, in English, is Yossi's (a'h) birthday.  When he was sick, we didn't have cell phones.  We had pagers.  When we had an emergency or crises, instead of paging our number, we just paged 414.  Then we all knew something was really wrong with Yossi.  It's always been our code.  It's a number that comes up time and time again.  Anyway.  Today is 4/14.  

I can't find it, but I know that I got a packrat card from Facebook that was card number 414.  It might have been the rabbi one from the Chanukah set.  Anyway.  

My addiction

Ok.  So I am going to admit I have a problem.  I really, seriously do.  I am totally and completely addicted to "jewelry jars".  Yeah, yeah, I know ... what in the world is a jewelry jar?  Well, it seems that people like to donate jewelry to the various thrift stores around the country.  (I only get them here, so don't think I am so sick as to travel out of my city. Although I have gone as far as 30-40 mins away from home in search of them.)  Some stores take this jewelry, and shove them into a vase. They tape it shut.  You can look, you can shake, but you can't open.  You also can't return them.  So let's see some of these jars -
See what I mean?  It's a vase stuffed with jewelry.  These are hot items.  They rarely stay out longer than an hour or two.  Here's the hard part ... They range in price from $15.25 all the way up to $200.25. (That's the most I've spent, at least.  I heard one store once put one out for $300!!!)  
Of course, I use my "frequent donor card" to get 20% off.  (I've only bought the jars one time without one, and I choked to do it.)  You get these cards by donating 4x.  There are so many drop offs around town.  I keep the jars in the car, and as I run errands, I drop off.  Now you want to know ... what in the world is so great about these jars?? Well, here are some of the finds from another set of jars I got --



This is truly gambling, in a way.  Sometimes you hit it big, with gold.  Sometimes you spend $200.25 and get a pile of junk!  Yeah, it's happened not once, but twice!  Sometimes you find great things in the cheap jars.  They base the prices on what they think the jewelry is worth.  Here is the totally, bad, horrible, terrible part of the whole thing ... You end up with a lot, and I mean, a LOT, of junky jewelry.  I auctioned off over 80 pounds of jewelry before pesach!!!  Not including my silver lots!  If you want to follow me on Ebay, my user name is ... no surprise here, InmemoryofYossi.  My store is found here-
So, that is my story.  I am well known by all the local people in the stores around town. They call me the jewelry lady.  Haha.  At least I have a way to support my addiction.  The only problem is, treasure hunting is so much more fun than selling the treasures I don't keep! 

Sunday, April 12, 2015

Life without Facebook

Passover is done, and if I want, I have time to fight to get my Facebook account back. The thing is, as the days go by, I am missing it less and less.  I did start blogging again.  (Duh, you know that if you are reading this.)  I did start using Twitter a little. I don't 100% understand it.  I was debating about Instagram, but I think my kids would have a freak attack if I joined.

The only thing I miss is seeing how people are doing.  But, the truth there is, my feed was always so messed up.  There would be posts from 5-10 people, and that was it.  For days on end.  Then magically new people would appear, and the old ones were gone.  It was a source of so much frustration to me.  

The only thing I feel bad about is that there are people I wanted to reach.  People I only spoke with on Facebook, and now that is gone.  I regret that.  I hope no one thinks I deleted them on purpose.  Oh well.  Nothing I can do about it.

So what am I doing with all my extra time?  LOL ... nothing, really!  I got a bunch of auctions up on Ebay today.  I got all the Pesach stuff put away except for the towels that came out of the washer a while ago.  That is actually a huge accomplishment!  Given that the pesach dishes were out almost until pesach sheni last year.  I have a lot of chometz stuff put back.  I've sorted through some jewelry.

What I really want to do is clean up the sewing room, and start sewing again.  Sadly ... I promised my husband I would start baking crackers again.  I am actually dreading that.

I really, really, really need to get back into working out.  Taking a daily walk.  I would like at some point to start lifting weights, but that is a long off thought.  

So realistically ... immediate goals- clean the kitchen.  And the rest of the house.  (It's pretty much done; just needs to be straightened up.)  Start mountains of laundry.  Spend 15 mins in the sewing room tomorrow cleaning.  Make chicken crackers.  Treat myself to something ... maybe a jewelry jar?  Oh, I'll have to blog about those tomorrow.  That is my personal crack!

S'long Pesach!

It's crazy. I literally spend at least a month preparing for pesach. This year, I started cleaning a week before Purim, which means I spent 5 weeks this year. Granted, not every day was spent cleaning or preparing. But it still means it was on my mind.
Pesach ended tonight. By 1am, all of pesach was erased from my kitchen. The dining room still had the last bit of stuff, and by tomorrow night dinner, I'm hoping it will be totally done.
There has to be some lesson here. I'm not sure what it is.
We literally wage total and compete war against chometz, enjoy the spoils for a week, and within 24 hours, we are totally back immersed in it.
I don't know. I just find life so funny.
Last year it took me two or three weeks to completely pack away all the pesach stuff. I dumped it in an empty room, and took my time, trying to organize it all. Didn't matter. Still couldn't find anything this year. So tonight we just shoved it all in the boxes.
Wish me good luck next year making heads or tails out of the mess I made!

Thursday, April 9, 2015

Pesach "cake"

Passover.  When we Jews pass over anything leaven.  No bread, cereal, cakes, cookies, etc.  It's pretty surprising where leaven is hiding.  In all sorts of weird places.  (My hand sanitizer from Whole Foods was chometz, leaven.  It has oat flour in it!)

We are so limited in what we can eat.  Matza (which constipates like crazy), potatoes, eggs, and chicken.  Lots of fresh fruit and vegetables, but who wants to cut them up when you can just grab and eat, right?

Which leads me to my pesach cake.  Every recipe seems to start with "XX eggs, separate whites, whip up, add a whole bag of sugar".  Yeah, so not happening.  Enter, a no-separate, not a ton of eggs or sugar, yet tastes good, pesach cake.

Start with 4 eggs.  I use large, not extra large.  They MUST be room temperature.  Put them in your mixer, and set it to high.


Then, you are going to beat them for about 15 minutes.  They are going to change from a bright yellow to a fluffy, almost double in size, pale yellow.  They need to reach "ribbon stage". Basically, it means when you put the spatula in them, they fall in like a ribbon, not a stream that is quickly absorbed.




Once you reach this fluffy stage, add sugar, and lower the speed to low, or mix by hand.  I usually add the oil and vanilla before I remember to lower it.  Last up is tapioca starch.  (I don't use potato starch; I can't get any that is not organic.)  I will also give you some alternatives.  


Sponge cake that is not overly sweet, good plain, or with some "ice cream".  Here is your full recipe:

Vanilla Passover Cake
4 large eggs
1/2 cup sugar
1-2 tsp vanilla*
2 TBSP oil
1/2 cup tapioca starch 

(*if you don't use vanilla, use lemon juice or orange juice, but it won't be vanilla cake)

If you want chocolate cake, cut back the amount of tapioca starch by 2-3 TBSP, and use cocoa in its place.  I personally up the amount of oil to another table spoon, because I think that the chocolate version is a little drier.  I've used the lemon juice to make lemon cake as well.  Serve that with some lemon custard, YUM!

Lastly, my very last pesach cake of the year, and I wanted to make a marble cake.  I used 6 eggs, and after the eggs were whipped up, I pulled off what I guessed to be about the 2 extra eggs worth.  I proceeded above making vanilla cake.  Once it was done, I got it into the pan.  I then put the extra eggs back into the mixing bowl.  I proceeded as above for chocolate cake (using half the amount of sugar/tapioca starch/cocoa).  Voila!  (I neglected to make sure that the pan was level. Who cares.  One side is thick; one thin.  In a few more days I can make a real cake.)


Wishing anyone who reads this a very happy last 2 days of Pesach!  See ya' on the other side!
  

Wednesday, April 8, 2015

FACEBOOK, Liberals, tolerance? Can't use those words in the same sentence!

Soooo, I am locked out of my FB account.  It seems that after 11 years, they suddenly don't like my name.  Mighty big coincidence going on here.
You see, Sunday evening I got into an argument with a liberal.   I posted something in a private, closed group.  I expressed my disgust with something.  And this person went off on me.  First, she did the typical liberal thing. She called me names.  I'm ignorant, stupid, and intolerant.  Then, she kindly informed me that it is now 2015, and I am supposed to be tolerant of everyone.
Being me, I turned it around on her.  I told her to look in the mirror and ask herself if she is tolerant of me.  Can you allow me to have my view.  She answered me no, she isn't tolerant of me.  A few hours later, I can't get onto Facebook.
My guess is that she reported my name.  It's only a hunch.  But it is the only thing I can think of.

Which gets me to the idea of liberalism and tolerance.  See, tolerance for a liberal only works as long as they agree with it.  Gay marriage? Awesome!  Black lives matter?  You bet!  Giving money to illegals?  Sure thing!  Glenn Beck? Sarah Palin?  NO WAY! GET THEM OFF THE AIR!  Religious values?  G-d NO!  (Pun intended.)  Black on black crime?  Who cares!  Soda Stream giving jobs to Arabs?  They deserve to be shut down!  You see, if a liberal doesn't like someone else's idea, shut them down and shut them up.  We can't tolerate this!!!

Conservatives, on the other hand, they just do the right thing (again, pun intended).  You don't like HuffPo?  Don't read it.  You don't like NPR?  Don't listen.  You don't like what Hollywood actors says? Don't give them your money.  Really, WE are the ones who display real tolerance.  It's just too bad that they want to shove their agenda down our throats and force us to eat what they are dishing out.  Too bad, cuz we don't want your garbage.

The saddest part?  They are too puffed up with conceit about how great they are and how horrible Conservatives are to see what is really looking at them in the mirror.  And it is violently ugly, if you ask me.